The Real Self-Care Prescription: Boundaries for the Busy Mom Physician
Sep 16, 2025
You’ve tried yoga. You’ve downloaded the meditation app. You’ve even penciled “me time” into your calendar. But let’s be honest—none of it sticks. Why? Because real self-care isn’t something you sprinkle on top of an overfilled life. It’s something you build from the ground up—starting with boundaries.
As a physician mom who’s navigated hospital halls and preschool pickups on the same day, I get it. We're praised for multitasking, expected to be superheroes, and trained to care for everyone but ourselves. But as Real Self-Care author Dr. Pooja Lakshmin reminds us, lasting well-being doesn’t come from pampering. It comes from protecting.
What “Care” Really Means
Words matter. There’s a huge emotional difference between childcare and caring for your child. Between elder care and caring for your mom. Now apply it to yourself. Self-care might sound indulgent. But caring for yourself? That’s sacred. Necessary. Revolutionary.
Boundaries Are the Backbone of Self-Respect
Setting boundaries isn’t about being cold or unavailable. It’s about reclaiming your time and identity. It’s pausing before you say yes. It’s allowing others to step up. It’s realizing that just because you can do it all doesn’t mean you should.
Take the simple act of driving your kid to school. If they’re switching to a campus ten miles away, don’t just assume you’re the new chauffeur. Pause. Ask. Collaborate. That pause alone is a radical act of self-respect.
The Guilt Factor
The number one thing that holds women back from setting boundaries? Guilt. We think, “If it feels bad, it must be wrong.” But guilt isn’t a reliable moral compass—it’s a conditioned response. And you don’t have to obey it.
Use the “Sushi Train” strategy: imagine your thoughts passing by on a conveyor belt. You don’t have to grab onto each one. Just observe and let it pass. Guilt is not truth—it’s just noise.
Beware the Extinction Burst
Here’s the wild part: when you finally say no or ask for help, the people around you might panic. “I don’t know how the dishwasher works,” they’ll say. “But what kind of dog food?” It’s not sabotage—it’s an extinction burst, a last-ditch effort to keep the old pattern alive.
Hold steady. Let the discomfort come—and go. That discomfort is the signal that change is happening.
Redefining Multitasking
We’ve all been fed the myth that women are better multitaskers. But studies show: we’re not. No one is. What we are is conditioned to see and fix what others overlook. That’s not efficiency—it’s unpaid labor.
Start by noticing how much you do that no one else sees. Then choose not to do it all.
How to Start Setting Boundaries:
- Start small. Say no to something that’s not emotionally loaded.
- Track your reactions. Journaling how it feels builds resilience.
- Let others help. Even if it’s imperfect.
- Expect resistance. That extinction burst is a sign of progress.
- Give yourself grace. No one gets it perfect. The goal is direction, not perfection.
Final Thoughts
If you’re a physician, a leader, a mom—boundaries are your superpower. Not because they keep others out, but because they keep you whole. Start with one. One small “no.” One moment of choosing you. Then do it again tomorrow.
Your peace is worth it.
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