The Biggest Financial Mistake Smart Women Make (and How to Fix It by Identifying Your Values)
Oct 07, 2025
What if the reason you're stuck financially isn't your income, your budget, or your student loans... but something much sneakier?
Today we’re diving into one of the most important mindset shifts you'll ever make when it comes to money:
๐ Understanding the difference between your values and your opinions.
Sounds subtle, right? Maybe even a little fuzzy?
But trust me—once you learn to spot the difference, it can change everything about how you save, spend, invest, and feel about your money.
A Real-Life (and Funny) Example: Your Ex and the PTA Email
Let’s say your ex-husband finally responds to the PTA’s request for fundraiser ideas. His brilliant suggestion?
๐ฅ Selling his homemade hot sauce at the school carnival.
You roll your eyes so hard you nearly sprain something.
Now, here’s where the difference between values and opinions comes into play—and it’s important.
• ๐ข Your value: “I believe in honoring my child’s relationship with both parents—even if their dad and I don’t see eye to eye.”
• ๐ด Your opinion: “His hot sauce is gross, nobody wants it, and he’s going to embarrass our kid.”
Your opinion might be 100% valid. Maybe it is gross. Maybe it will flop.
But your value? That’s your anchor. That’s what reminds you to model respect, patience, and grace—for the sake of your child and your own integrity.
Because values guide our behavior. Opinions guide our reactions.
And when you let values lead, you stop letting other people’s quirks—or your own knee-jerk judgments—derail your peace.
In this case, supporting the hot sauce stand might not be about condiments. It might be about showing your child what cooperation, compassion, and maturity look like—even when you’d rather just hide behind the cotton candy machine.
๐ช Your Turn: What Are Your Financial Values?
This is your call to action. Not to make perfect choices, but to make values-based ones.
Take 10 minutes today and really ask yourself:
• What principles do I choose to live by when it comes to money?
• Where have I been clinging to opinions that don’t serve me—or my future?
Don’t overthink it. Grab your journal. Or start with the Notes app while waiting in line at Target. Reflect on what’s really driving your financial decisions—fear, habits, other people’s voices—or your own hard-earned truth?
Then do this: Share your answers.
• Text a trusted friend.
• Ask your group chat.
• Or make it a dinner convo with your kids: “What do you think our family values about money?”
You might be surprised by what they say—and what you realize in the process.
๐ฌ Final Thought: Opinions Are Loud. Values Are Powerful.
Your opinion might say, “This latte is a waste of $6.”
Your value might say, “This moment of peace matters.”
Your opinion might say, “I can’t invest—I don’t know enough.”
Your value might say, “Building wealth gives me freedom.”
So here’s the challenge this week:
โจ Name one opinion you're ready to release—and the value you’re choosing to honor instead.
Then tell a friend. Laugh about it. Or post about it.
Because when we talk about these things openly, we give other women permission to rethink their own path—and build a life rooted in intention, not noise.
๐ฉโ๏ธ You’re not just managing money.
You’re modeling values—for your children, your future self, and every woman who’s watching how you carry it all.
And that? That’s a legacy worth investing in.
“I Know It When I See It”
Let’s start with a definition, even if this one feels as clear as your kitchen table during finals week.
• ๐ A value is a core principle that guides your decisions—especially when things get messy. It’s what you believe is important.
• ๐ญ An opinion is a belief about what you think is true. It can shift with mood, trends, or new information.
In short:
๐ข A value is what you stand for.
๐ต An opinion is what you think.
Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart once said he couldn’t define pornography, but “I know it when I see it.”
That’s kind of how it is with values and opinions too. We can often spot the difference in other people—but when it comes to ourselves, the lines blur.
The Adam Grant Test
In his brilliant book Think Again (check it out on your library’s audiobook carrier), Adam Grant breaks it down like this:
• Values = What you think is important
• Opinions = What you think is true
The problem? When we mistake opinions for values, we make choices that feel right in the moment… but don’t align with who we really are or what we really want.
And nowhere is this more obvious than in our finances.
๐ A Real-Life (Funny) Example: Your Ex and the PTA Email
Let’s say your ex-husband finally replies to the PTA’s request for fundraiser ideas. His big pitch?
๐ฅต Selling his homemade hot sauce at the school carnival.
You roll your eyes so hard you practically see your brain.
But here’s how values vs. opinions plays out:
• Your value: “I want to honor my child’s relationship with both parents, even if their dad and I don’t see eye to eye.”
• Your opinion: “His hot sauce is gross, and no one’s going to buy it.”
Your opinion might be right.
But your value tells you what kind of co-parent—and what kind of role model—you want to be.
Values guide your behavior. Opinions guide your reactions.
And recognizing the difference keeps you anchored to your true north.
๐ฐ How This Shows Up in Your Money
I talk about money not just because I love personal finance—but because it’s a mirror for our mindset.
Let’s take a look at three ways I’ve personally struggled with this values vs. opinions battle:
1. Debt
• ๐ข Value: Build assets and eliminate liabilities.
• ๐ด Opinion I used to hold: All debt is bad.
I used to be proud of being debt-free, even while struggling with cash flow. Once I re-centered on my value—building assets—I realized that some debt (like mortgage debt on cash-flowing rental properties) can actually serve that value.
I got educated, set my own “debt ceiling,” and invested in real estate. That’s when wealth-building finally clicked.
2. Investing
• ๐ข Value: Choose investments with long-term, risk-adjusted returns.
• ๐ด Opinion I held: Crypto is a scam.
Crypto felt like Monopoly money to me. But once I peeled back the opinion and looked at the facts, I decided to test the waters. I invested $100/month in a passive crypto fund—not because I believe it’s The Answer, but because I want to stay open to new tools while staying rooted in my values.
3. Saving
• ๐ข Value: Maintain a 20–30% savings rate to build freedom.
• ๐ด Opinion I held: Spending on “frivolous” things is bad.
For years, even when I could afford to splurge on joy, I wouldn’t. Some thought I wore the badge of frugality so tightly that I almost forgot what it was for.
Now I realize: saving is powerful, but joy is necessary.
You don’t have to pit one against the other.
I can save where I can so I can spend where I want – like staying at a Disney resort instead of an Anaheim convention center hotel.
๐ช Your Turn: What Are Your Financial Values?
This is your invitation to pause and reflect—because your values are already guiding your life. The question is: Are they doing it consciously or unconsciously?
Take 10 minutes today and ask yourself:
• What principles do I choose to live by when it comes to money?
• What opinions might be masquerading as values—and holding me back?
Write them down. Talk about them with your kids. Vent about them with a fellow physician mom over lunch. You’ll be surprised how many lightbulb moments follow.
๐ฌ Closing Thought: Let’s Talk About This
So, what’s your biggest financial opinion that turned out to be just that—an opinion?
Was it about debt? Budgeting? Whether working moms should splurge on DoorDash?
Ask your best friend. Text your sister. Bring it up in your group chat. Because the more we talk about this, the easier it gets to live in alignment.
And if your values weren’t handed down to you? You get to build them—from the ground up. That’s a legacy your kids will carry far longer than any inheritance.
Calling all remarkable women physicians and single moms!
Join our thriving Single Mom MD community today and unlock the support you need to conquer financial challenges, master time management, embrace a positive mindset, and excel in parenting.
Together, we'll elevate each other to new heights of success and fulfillment. Don't wait - your empowered future starts here!
Stay connected with news and updates!
Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.
We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.
