Flexing Your Happiness Muscle: A Physician Mom’s Guide to Building Joy Daily
Aug 26, 2025
Happiness often feels like one more thing we don’t have time for. Between patient charts, family logistics, and the mental load of medicine and motherhood, joy can fall to the bottom of the list.
But what if it’s the key to everything else?
Dr. Gillian Mandich’s research proves that happiness isn’t fluffy—it’s foundational. Happier people sleep better, manage stress better, and perform better in high-pressure careers like ours.
The best part? You don’t need hours to meditate or take a sabbatical. You need micro-moments.
Try “happy hunting” by tracking what makes you feel more or less happy in your day. Start a gratitude journal (or just send a text to someone who made your day brighter). Carve out time for a walk, a laugh, or even a moment to remember why you chose this career.
Practicing happiness isn't selfish—it’s what allows us to be better for everyone who depends on us. It’s time to flex that happiness muscle. Because joy, just like medicine, works best when practiced consistently.
The Myth of Constant Happiness
Let me ask you something: Have you ever told yourself, “I’ll be happy when…?”
When the kids are older. When the notes are finally done. When you drop the last five pounds. When you’re no longer on call.
That mindset is a trap. Because as Dr. Mandich explains, happiness isn’t the destination at the end of your to-do list. It's not a final state of being. It's a practice.
And no, you’re not supposed to be happy all the time. That would make you inauthentic, and ironically, less happy. The goal isn’t to delete sadness or stress. The goal is to increase your capacity for joy alongside those emotions.
Think about it like strength training. One bicep curl won’t make you strong. But repetition over time builds muscle. Micro-moments of joy are emotional reps. Done consistently, they build the resilience and optimism you need to thrive—in medicine, motherhood, and life.
What Is Happiness, Really?
Dr. Mandich explains that happiness has two parts:
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Affective: The feelings we associate with happiness—joy, contentment, laughter, delight.
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Cognitive: Our overall sense of life satisfaction. If you zoomed out, how do you feel about your life?
Together, they create your happiness baseline. And get this: studies show that while some of our happiness is genetic, up to 40% is within our control—a result of our thoughts, behaviors, and daily choices.
Which means you have way more influence than you think.
Emotional Granularity and Bittersweet Joy
One of my favorite moments in Dr. Mandich’s conversation was her explanation of "emotional granularity" — the idea that we can hold multiple emotions at the same time.
This was deeply validating for me as a mom who sent a child off to college. I felt intense sorrow walking past her empty bedroom—but I also felt joy and pride watching her soar. It was confusing. But according to the science? That’s normal. That’s healthy.
You can be sad and happy at the same time. That doesn’t make you conflicted. It makes you human.
Practical Tools to Build Your Happiness Muscle
Here’s where things get actionable. Dr. Mandich offers real strategies to help build happiness, especially when your time, energy, and emotional bandwidth feel maxed out.
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Happy Hunting
Create two lists: "More Happy" and "Less Happy." Over a few days, jot down what activities, people, and moments go in each column. You’ll start to identify patterns. Then: do more of what brings you joy, and subtract or outsource what doesn't, when possible. -
Gratitude
Gratitude rewires your brain. Instead of just thinking thankful thoughts, write them down or text someone your appreciation. It makes the happiness more tangible and contagious. -
Micro-Moments
These are tiny bursts of joy: a smile, a shared laugh, a walk outside. They seem small, but repeated often, they build your happiness muscle. -
Connection
The Harvard Study of Adult Development—the longest study on happiness ever done—found that the #1 predictor of long-term happiness and health is social connection. Not money. Not education. Not career success. So text a friend. Call your mom. Send a voice memo. Make space for joy in relationship. -
Self-Care Without Guilt
Physician moms are notorious for putting themselves last. But when you care for yourself, you actually become better at caring for others. So get that massage, take that walk, or sip that coffee in silence—guilt-free.
Remembering Your Why
Sometimes, our joy gets buried under paperwork and policies and patient complaints. But meaning matters.
Happiness isn’t just about joy—it’s also about purpose. Remember why you chose medicine. Why you show up for your family. Why your life matters beyond the productivity.
Taking even two minutes to reflect on that can reignite your happiness.
Closing
You deserve to be happy, not in some distant future, but now. Today. Through small, powerful choices. One micro-moment at a time.
So tell me: What’s your happiness rep going to be today?
Calling all remarkable women physicians and single moms!
Join our thriving Single Mom MD community today and unlock the support you need to conquer financial challenges, master time management, embrace a positive mindset, and excel in parenting.
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